Midnight Madness

I have worked 30 hours in the last two days, 60 in the last pay period, and I may be pushing too hard. So why can't I sleep?
The fact is I can sleep, but I don't really wish to. I mean, I have been feeling behind nonstop lately, and I really truly want to catch up and not feel so panicked to complete my tasks. What tasks you ask? EVERYTHING!!

I took the position as Deli manager for a Flying J Dealer location back in August of last year. I was told we would be opening a new standalone restaurant that was part of the parent company last October. Well, we finally opened two days ago. What's interesting is, it's essentially 3 restaurants in one, a deli, a fried chicken franchise, AND a new food bar. I'm doing the best I can, but I am limited on staff, pay, and resources. It's a bit overwhelming.

I'm not getting the operations work done since we opened the new food bar. I am just too busy. I can't let them go by the wayside, either, so I am still awake working on the schedule, training materials, etc. At least I am catching up though.

ARTWORK:

I really miss making art. I work so hard so that I can afford to create, and that same work stunts my creative process. I long for the days past when I could play guitar for 3-4 hours every night. I wish to create something new and truth be told, I fully intend to. When? Well, who fucking knows! Soon.

In the mean time, I play with generators, acquire inspiration, dream, and doodle. It's something I guess. I'll probably put a gallery of recent inspiration photos just below this sentence.

SIGILS: LOTS OF THEM

I make a lot of sigils, and use a lot of chaos magic principles in my creative process. I cast spells you could say, to get what I want, to protect me and mine from harm, to repair poor karmic decisions. I am constantly meditating over sigils. I believe it helps, not necessarily because it's magic work, but because it focuses my attention and energy. Productivity is my most recent goal. I want to get more done in less time so I can be less tired from my day job, It sent me down a youtube rabbithole to be honest. Constant streams of videos about productivity software, AI, management techniques. I have truly made this job my entire life.

On a completely unrelated note, I am seriously considering buying floggers a lot lately. :D

Visualize: Create:

Within my minds eye I see what I wish to see.
It's a world in which my loved ones are thriving.
I don't wish for fame or loads of dirty money.
I do wish for connection, for someone to see me.

The world is not what they tell you it is, but I'll bet you already knew this. They control our tempers, our lives and perception, and it's our own fault because we allow it. In a world built by me, all food would be free, art would be everywhere, sex would be clean.

It's not impossible. Generate before me.

It's almost 3 am now. I don't even have a point to be typing, or generating images. I'm just doing it now, cause it's something to do.

Have you ever been lonely when there are people all around? Was it because it wasn't you that she decided to pounce?
I'd reciprocate but it wouldn't end well for either of us. Blue cyber chaos.

-The magick words are:

Purpureus lapis utinam rapiat num minus amatorie dea? Libidine mea imperium occupavit.

I am far too excitable right now.